Control Relinquished

I have a love/hate relationship with this saying of spring cleaning...I love spring, but hate cleaning! I am the type of person that loves a clean house, but the effort it takes to keep a clean house is just plain exhausting! Especially when the factors of 3 young kids and living in an apartment above a horse barn are combined! The dirt, the clutter, the disorganization...it's endless! I remember when I was growing up, my mom would typically tackle spring cleaning in the summer when my siblings and I were home from school. When the words "houseclean such-and-such a room" were heard at breakfast, groans were heard all around. And yet, even with all the work it took to tear apart a room, clean every nook and cranny, and put it back together, I have to admit, it was refreshing knowing everything was clean, organized, and rearranged! In more ways than one, it felt like a brand, new room! Spring cleaning has been on my mind this week since I find my schedule...

Yesterday I was driving through, yet another coating of snow. The roads were thick with slush and salt and it wasn't long before I had a nasty, smeary residue of salt dust on my windshield. My problem was that no washer fluid was coming out to wash it clean! My visibility was quickly waning and I thought I may soon need to take desperate measures...perhaps pulling to the side of the road and throwing a layer of clean white snow would do the trick? Then I had a fleeting thought, "You know, maybe I should ask God first. Alright, God, I'm kind of in a dirty situation here...would it be possible for you to miraculously get the washer fluid working again?" I try again and WHOOSH! I felt like a blind person receiving sight. Crisp cleanness flooded my windshield; thank you, Jesus! Wow, God does care enough to get involved in the dirtiness of life! A few hours later, I was hurriedly baking a batch of cookies. In my haste, I grabbed a container of chocolate chips from my pan...

Do you ever have those embarrassing moments when you just want to melt away into non-existence? I've done plenty of "stupid" stuff in my lifetime and, since becoming a mother those embarrassing moments have increased! Those times where my kids say or do something so humiliating....I call them "Mommy Melt" experiences! I love when my kids behave like little angels in public. I love when our family is on time and completely in order. But, the reality is, those moments are rare! It takes a lot of effort, nagging, and (hate to admit, some yelling) to motivate my children into obedience. Today, I'm going to share one of those "Mommy Melt" experiences that happened recently. The main character involves my 4 year old son. Now, if you're not familiar with the maturity of a 4 year old boy, I will attempt to educate you. Four year old boys (at least mine, anyway!) love attention. However, they haven't quite learned the difference between negative...

This morning my church had a special service focused on anxiety titled, "Experiencing Life in an Anxious World." It was a powerful morning hearing testimonies of 5 individuals and their journeys with anxiety. I could see my own story woven through theirs, seeing similar experiences and triggers. Then, a trained psychologist from a local counseling service described the 7 types of disorders, of which I could easily identify mine! She then closed with 10 tips to conquer anxiety, many of which were successful for me. Overall, it was a God-filled morning and I couldn't quite fall asleep tonight until I wrote down all my thoughts and reflected on my own journey these past 16 months... It all started with a bout of sickness that I just couldn't beat. Extreme nausea and vomiting for days landed me in the ER for fluids. Continual stomach pain had me and my doctors concerned about my gall bladder. Many tests declared the same thing...I was healthy. Even a referral...

So, we recently had an ice storm. And, although it was beautiful to see the trees coated with a thick, sparkling coat of ice, I wasn't excited about our power going out at 7:30 am on Wednesday morning. I hadn't gotten a shower, my dishwasher and sink were full of dirty dishes, and I was wanting to vacuum my very dirty floors. By 10:00, the house was getting a bit chilly and, knowing that my parents (5 minute drive away) still had power, I willingly and excitedly packed up the kids and headed over to Grandma & Grandpa's! We spent the rest of the day baking, playing, relaxing, and napping. It was a much-needed vacation away from home! After supper, we decided to head home and run our generator to warm up the house and cool the freezers and refrigerators. Many people like dimly lit homes and cozying up, but for some reason it creates anxiety for me. For 5 months, I lived in India where power outages were a daily occurrence, so I would think this wouldn't be a big dea...

So, what does "relinquished" exactly mean? According to the trusty dictionary, the definition is: To retire from, give up, or abandon; to put aside; to let go and surrender; release. How appropriate that God leads me to this word. How divine that He seems to be asking me to have the focus of this coming year to relinquish my control that I want and have for my life and embrace the leading and direction of My Master. I love this verse from Hebrews 12:1: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." What is it holding you back? Is sin entangling you? Are fears weighing you down? Are you struggling to hand over  your control to the Master? Lets all strip these weights off and run the race that Christ desires us to...in complete freedom!

We are a month into the new year of 2014 and I have decided to give blogging a try. Mainly as a way to de-clutter my mind and organize into complete thoughts what God is teaching me. By nature, I am a control freak. I love to plan and order my life; I love to plan out my days and weeks. It's addicting and it gives me a rush when I can check something else off my list. But, God has been slowly pricking away at this mindset of having total control. Ultimately, it is He who is in control! So, how can I change my way of thinking? How can I further mold my life into what God has in mind for me and my family? Obviously, surrender doesn't come naturally to most humans. But, it's in this place that I find myself most at peace. Surrendered fully into the hand of Christ; letting him work out the fine details of life. And me... enjoying the ride with Him at the wheel!