God of Enough

We are quickly approaching my daughter's one-year "Spineaversary," as it's popularly referred to in the scoliosis community. July 17 will mark one year since her life-altering, major spinal fusion. I've been doing a lot of reflection lately, partly due to the many conversations God has put in my path recently with dear women and mothers going through similar experiences. As I've recalled some of our "God moments" from those dark, raw days, I felt led to share this one special experience that sticks out in my mind. 

It was post-op day #4. I had just spent the night at the hospital, while Sheldon slept in our nearby hotel room. I laid there in the early morning darkness, listening to the city road below coming to life with traffic. I quietly texted friends, desperate for prayers and assurance that someday this horrible present would soon be in the distant past. There seemed to be no light at the end of this dark tunnel; would we ever go home?! Would our daughter ever be her healthy, happy self again? Our original plan was for one more night, but looking over at my daughter after another fitful night of rest, that dream seemed impossible. 

Within a few hours, I found myself wearily climbing into our hotel room bed for a nap after a long, hot shower. After some blissful moments of rest, I awoke to realize Sheldon had been trying to reach me. Occupational therapy had just cleared her to go home; she was being discharged!! Of course, I was shocked, relieved, joyful, and hopeful, but reality set in after packing and checking out of our hotel. I would no longer have amazing nursing staff and doctors available 24/7. It was now on Sheldon and me to help her walk, shower, dress, care for her incision, manage her medications,...everything. I could barely hold back tears as the weight of reality sunk in.

The discharge nurse was so kind, encouraging, and thorough, and thankfully, the instructions were written down for my emotional, foggy, sleep-deprived brain. But, I remember panic beginning to set in when she gave the medications and firmly reminded us that there were no promises of refills. For any adults going through a surgery like this, they would easily qualify for 2-3 weeks' worth of pain medications. But, due to the opioid crisis and strict restrictions, minors got one week's worth. One week. It was important to start weaning her off within the next 2 days. 

Even once we were home, the dwindling bottle was almost too much for me to look at. I could not shake the nagging thought that our supply was never going to be enough with Brooke still in so much pain. I felt so frustrated and helpless, since this felt completely out of my control. One day, someone from church called to check-in and see how we were doing. I remember her asking if there was anything specific she could pray for. I glanced over at the half-empty bottle and confessed my worry about the dwindling pain medicine. 

Suddenly, from that conversation on, I finally had the strength to surrender my concern to God. He reminded me of the story in the Bible from 1 Kings 17:7-16.  

Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath
7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the Lord came to him: 9 “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” 11 As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”
12 “As surely as the Lord your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”
13 Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord sends rain on the land.’”

The flour and oil would not run dry until God allowed it. All that was required of the widow was faith-filled obedience. God lovingly reminded me that He is a God of enough. He would never be short, always providing exactly what we needed in His perfect timing. All that He required of me is faith-filled surrender.

 

I don't know if God multiplied the meds like He did for the jugs of oil and flour. Or perhaps He touched Brooke's body and allowed divine healing. But suddenly there was a day that she had no more pain and was content with the occasional Tylenol. I documented what was left in the bottle that week. Enough for one dose. I held onto that "liquid gold" for a few days for a "just in case" moment of pain. And then I kept it on my kitchen counter for 2 more months as a monumental reminder that God is a God of enough. He knows exactly what we need and that truth brings such peace!

He cares about our needs. He wants us to voice our concerns and worries to Him. He will never allow us to come up short. Yes, there will be tough times in our lives...God doesn't promise immunity from that. But, He will always be right by our sides, extending just enough grace to conquer those difficult moments.

Where do you find yourself today?

Perhaps you are at a place in life where finances are bone dry and you are wondering what to do next....know that God will provide.

Maybe you're facing a health need and you feel anxious about the unknowns ahead...God will be faithful.

Or maybe you are feeling very alone, separated by the death of a relationship or a loved one...reach out to Jesus who is always present.

No matter the seasons we go through, the mountain-tops or dark valleys, Jesus wants you to know that He cares. He sees that our physical needs are met, our emotional tanks are refilled, and nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever separate us from His love!