Have I Relinquished My Control?
Any readers out there remember why I started blogging and the reason behind my title choice? Back in February, I felt an urge to begin blogging as an outlet to de-clutter my mind and document a bit of what God teaches me in the day to day happenings of life. I was led to the name "Control Relinquished" since an area of my life that is hardest for me to surrender is the area of control. I felt that God was desiring my focus for 2014 to be in the area of giving up my control as a wife, mother, and woman of God.
Seven months later and you would think (or hope) that I've become an expert at resisting this urge to control all aspects of life. But no, it's still a daily battle and one I fail often.
In the last 2 weeks, my life has felt very random and 'out of control'. (Yes, a control freak's nightmare!) Life has been very busy with commitments, meetings, and typical responsibilities. In addition to my already busy days, I've had an emergency dentist appointment with my daughter, a trip to Urgent Care for myself, some concerning symptoms found in my son that needed further testing, and plans for my husband's upcoming birthday surprise needing changed at last minute.
None of this was supposed to happen. I didn't have time for any of it! So carefully, I had planned out my days and my week, and felt like God was allowing it to spin 'out of control'!
Most of these issues have worked themselves out, but the stress and anxiety that were caused because of my 'need' to control each situation was just pitiful! I finally threw my hands in the air and said, "Lord, have Your way!" Even though my way may seem better and easier than God's, He can see the whole picture. In His divine sovereignty, He has his reasons for saying yes, no, or wait. He obviously wanted these circumstances to teach and mold me into a more Christ-like person.
Yesterday, in Jesus Calling, I was struck by the truth of these words: "Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief."
My mind wandered to the familiar story of Job. He had it all. Riches, fame, family, friends, livestock, house, and health and God allowed it to be taken from him in a matter of hours. And what did Job do as messenger after messenger came and told him of his losses? Verse 20 of chapter 1 says, "He fell to the ground in worship."
This guy had just lost all that was dear to him and this was only the beginning of a very difficult journey. But, he worshiped. He chose to praise God because "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." (vs 21)
Job got it, folks. More than I do. How foolish of me to complain and gripe and blame God when a few things in my week go awry. How upright of a man Job must have been to never give into the temptation to blame or curse God.
Our lives get messy when we do things our way. When we cling to worthless things, our joy is robbed. I want the abundant life that Job lived and that Jesus offers.
How can I?
I cannot live in the past or future; focus on the the present in His presence.
I need to surrender MY timetable.
I cannot let fear rule.
Seven months later and you would think (or hope) that I've become an expert at resisting this urge to control all aspects of life. But no, it's still a daily battle and one I fail often.
In the last 2 weeks, my life has felt very random and 'out of control'. (Yes, a control freak's nightmare!) Life has been very busy with commitments, meetings, and typical responsibilities. In addition to my already busy days, I've had an emergency dentist appointment with my daughter, a trip to Urgent Care for myself, some concerning symptoms found in my son that needed further testing, and plans for my husband's upcoming birthday surprise needing changed at last minute.
None of this was supposed to happen. I didn't have time for any of it! So carefully, I had planned out my days and my week, and felt like God was allowing it to spin 'out of control'!
Most of these issues have worked themselves out, but the stress and anxiety that were caused because of my 'need' to control each situation was just pitiful! I finally threw my hands in the air and said, "Lord, have Your way!" Even though my way may seem better and easier than God's, He can see the whole picture. In His divine sovereignty, He has his reasons for saying yes, no, or wait. He obviously wanted these circumstances to teach and mold me into a more Christ-like person.
Yesterday, in Jesus Calling, I was struck by the truth of these words: "Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief."
My mind wandered to the familiar story of Job. He had it all. Riches, fame, family, friends, livestock, house, and health and God allowed it to be taken from him in a matter of hours. And what did Job do as messenger after messenger came and told him of his losses? Verse 20 of chapter 1 says, "He fell to the ground in worship."
This guy had just lost all that was dear to him and this was only the beginning of a very difficult journey. But, he worshiped. He chose to praise God because "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." (vs 21)
Job got it, folks. More than I do. How foolish of me to complain and gripe and blame God when a few things in my week go awry. How upright of a man Job must have been to never give into the temptation to blame or curse God.
Our lives get messy when we do things our way. When we cling to worthless things, our joy is robbed. I want the abundant life that Job lived and that Jesus offers.
How can I?
I cannot live in the past or future; focus on the the present in His presence.
I need to surrender MY timetable.
I cannot let fear rule.
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