Control Relinquished

Lately, I've been feeling a stirring in my spirit. You know, that feeling that God is up to something that is beyond me, myself, and I. That gut feeling that I've become complacent and comfortable and the understanding that God wants to take me deeper. Maybe it's our Sunday School series on Building Friendships on the Heart of God and the discussions that are a result of the Holy Spirit spurring us to branch out and be Jesus to someone new. Maybe it's the book "Be Brave" I'm reading and learning to take new steps and pursue new endeavors. Whatever it is, God is at work and I want to be molded, pruned, and shaped into His masterpiece. By nature, I am an introvert. I like to be alone in my thoughts and large groups of people are overwhelming to me. The last several weeks, I have found myself on the sidelines of soccer games and practices as my two oldest children are participating in their very first soccer season. There are a few familiar faces, b...

Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I stood in the kitchen chopping onions for our dinner. However, the tears were not caused by the onions. They were tears being shed after a long, no-good, very bad day. A day that had me chasing my wild, 3 year old and cleaning up messes that involved pee, gasoline, and marker. A day spent refereeing countless battles and disagreements. A day where the tasks never seemed to end. A day that looked like I accomplished nothing. And then I spotted it. A list my 1st grader had written weeks ago and still hung on my fridge. A varied list. A simplistic view of life through her eyes. The last four words grip me every time. "I love my life" And I'm challenged. Do I love my life? The life of motherhood was a longtime dream and just seconds ago I found myself complaining and pitying myself for a hard day. How quickly my blessings can be overshadowed by a selfish, bad attitude. When was the last time I looked at life through the lens ...

I recently heard a sermon on the familiar story of Daniel. The beautiful thing about Scripture is that it's Living and Active and the Holy Spirit reveals new thoughts and challenges to meet us where we are at in our journey through life. The part that jumped out at me last Sunday was in Daniel 1:8-16 where Daniel and his friends were determined not to defile themselves with royal food and wine. After a period of 10 days, they looked healthier and better nourished than those who had eaten the royal food. So, the choice food was taken away and everyone was served vegetables instead! I admire them for being willing to go 'extreme' for the Lord! They knew that taking care of their bodies, physically and spiritually, would allow God to use them in mightier ways than they ever imagined! Healthy diets and lives with exercise plans are permeating the culture all around us. It's scientifically proven that eating our fruits and vegetables help us live longer. Regular exerc...

I never meant to exit the blogosphere for an entire month. But that's how long it's been since I last wrote. To be honest with you, I've been resisting and wrestling this topic for weeks. Even after having several God-ordained conversations with other women about this very topic and knowing I wasn't the only one, I resisted being vulnerable and exposing the ugly, dark side of me. Until yesterday, when someone at church commented to me that I was such a relaxed and patient mother. My response was a chuckle and truthful, "Oh my, no there are definitely days I blow my top!" And I knew, it was time. Time to be truthful to myself and to the rest  of the world. Almost 2 years ago, I began noticing a trend in my parenting. I was beginning to yell, a lot . In the safe confines of my home where I couldn't be judged by others, I turned to yelling to control my kids. In the moment, it felt good to vent. Yelling reminded my kids who the boss was and their response ...

As humans, we make hundreds of choices on a daily basis. From small, insignificant choices like what to wear and what to eat, all the way to big, life-altering choices about careers and finances. When my kids were younger, they had no choice about what they were wearing or what they got to eat. I handed it to them and expected them to comply. But, recently, I began to loosen the reigns in this area. After all, they need to learn to dress themselves in matching clothes! I need to support them in their preferences in clothing choices and let them decipher what they're hungry for. (And, no, I do not make them all something different for dinner each night! This is simply for breakfasts/lunches!) For example, this morning they had a choice of eggs or cereal for breakfast. Although my main reason in allowing them more personal choices is so they  learn to dress themselves and make healthy choices, I've also discovered I'm raising some strong-willed children and choices=less ...

My husband and I recently had a date night where we decided to do something completely different from our usual choices. We decided to re-visit something we had done back in youth group together: indoor rock climbing! I must admit, we almost chickened out. When we arrived at the gym, it was full of youngsters and we really debated about us "oldies" joining in. Plus, I am not a huge fan of heights, so it was stretching for me to even look at the high walls above me and think about climbing to the very top! But, we did. And I'm so glad we did! It was a great workout, a lot of fun and God opened my eyes to some revelations! If you've never been climbing before, first you put on a harness. Then, you can choose different walls or courses that each have a variety of obstacles or climbing patterns to follow. Each of these stations has a rope that goes all the way to the top of the course. Each partner hooks their harness to opposite ends of the rope. One ...

Sometimes God takes us down a path that is hard to understand. It can be confusing to us because we can't see the big picture or the end result. His ways are mysterious and sometimes difficult to explain. The last 4 weeks have been emotionally and physically draining for our family. Last month, just days before Christmas, we learned that our adopted son has a baby brother. We were asked if we would be willing to become foster parents again. It was a life-altering decision. The reality was hard to grasp. We thought we were done with the baby stage. In fact, we had sold almost all our baby items and clothes. It was a struggle to picture bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights again. But God made it very clear. We needed to say, "Yes." We slowly began to feel excited. Our kids were elated. We reorganized bedrooms and restocked baby supplies. In a matter of 3 days, I completed 9 months worth of nesting. We even took our "announcement picture." Then, sudd...