Control Relinquished

Lately, I've been feeling a stirring in my spirit. You know, that feeling that God is up to something that is beyond me, myself, and I. That gut feeling that I've become complacent and comfortable and the understanding that God wants to take me deeper. Maybe it's our Sunday School series on Building Friendships on the Heart of God and the discussions that are a result of the Holy Spirit spurring us to branch out and be Jesus to someone new. Maybe it's the book "Be Brave" I'm reading and learning to take new steps and pursue new endeavors. Whatever it is, God is at work and I want to be molded, pruned, and shaped into His masterpiece. By nature, I am an introvert. I like to be alone in my thoughts and large groups of people are overwhelming to me. The last several weeks, I have found myself on the sidelines of soccer games and practices as my two oldest children are participating in their very first soccer season. There are a few familiar faces, b

Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I stood in the kitchen chopping onions for our dinner. However, the tears were not caused by the onions. They were tears being shed after a long, no-good, very bad day. A day that had me chasing my wild, 3 year old and cleaning up messes that involved pee, gasoline, and marker. A day spent refereeing countless battles and disagreements. A day where the tasks never seemed to end. A day that looked like I accomplished nothing. And then I spotted it. A list my 1st grader had written weeks ago and still hung on my fridge. A varied list. A simplistic view of life through her eyes. The last four words grip me every time. "I love my life" And I'm challenged. Do I love my life? The life of motherhood was a longtime dream and just seconds ago I found myself complaining and pitying myself for a hard day. How quickly my blessings can be overshadowed by a selfish, bad attitude. When was the last time I looked at life through the lens