Control Relinquished

I would love to be sitting across from you over steaming mugs of chai lattes (sorry, I don't ever plan to be a friend of coffee!) and hear how your Christmas season has felt to you thus far. Crazy and chaotic? Expensive and full of effort? Or perhaps lonely and less-than Moody and melancholy The truth is we put so much expectation into this season and our realities can easily overwhelm, depress, and deflate our joy that we so desperately long for. The fulfillment and hope we know that can be found in the simple manger is so often crowded out by busy schedules and shopping and decorating and food preparations. My Christmas preparations began way back in September and no, I don't mean I was already buying gifts and making lists! It was a mental preparation; a difficult refining process that my Savior orchestrated. Typically September is when I begin preparing for our annual Christmas orchestra at church. It's a tradition that I hold near and dear to my heart a

My mind has been aching for me to write. I have a whirlwind of disconnected thoughts that I pray God can connect to your heart for me. With the coming of Thanksgiving I have found myself pondering and thinking about the attitude of thanksgiving contentment joy I have realized, more than ever, how seamlessly they seem to be connected to each other. The presence of contentment, leads to a heart of thanksgiving, which leads to a life of joy. In my quest to have a more focused and intent approach to this holiday season, I picked up Ann Voskamp's book, "The Greatest Gift". It's written to guide one through the season of Advent, using passages from the entire Bible. Her writing on day 3 (also written in her book One Thousand Gifts) resonated with me: "Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other. The only thing that will satisfy our hunger for more i

Something very awesome and meaningful happened at church yesterday. Exactly a year ago, we moved into our new Family Life Center that was newly built. During the past year, we continued to pay down the loan that was still owed on the building project. There was a substantial amount left and it continued to creep lower and lower each week. However, yesterday it was announced that someone had anonymously come forward and paid the remaining debt! Tears filled my eyes as I comprehended the depth of this gift. Somebody made an incredible sacrifice to pay our debt in full. An undeserved gift made to unworthy people. A gift given out of love. What made this even more powerful was that we celebrated Communion yesterday too. It shed a whole new light on the gift of salvation that Jesus grants each of us when He paid our debt in full on Calvary. With the sacrifice of His life, my sins are forgiven and I can experience eternal life in Heaven. An enormous sacrifice to pay my debt in

A few of you have been wondering why I haven't been blogging lately and I apologize for the sparse amount of posts the last several months. Truth of the matter is, life has gotten pretty busy. Quite honestly, it's also gotten dry. Just like our parched and thirsty land, I've also been feeling spiritually dry. Even in the midst of daily devotions, God has felt very quiet. And just like I hear the rain pattering on the roof as I write this, I pray that my spiritually dry season is over too. This is a a view I have on the walk I take nearly every day. The beauty and peace found in the woods will always relax me. What you can't see in this picture is the dozens of spiderwebs that also cross the path! As if it has never happened before, every day I am surprised and caught off guard when I find my arms flailing trying to loosen myself from a spider web's sticky grip. I often don't see or realize the web until it's too late and the web is adhere

*Re-sharing this post I wrote 2 years ago... This exact picture hung in the hallway of my parents' home when I was a child. I often found myself staring at it, thinking. One time, I remember my mom asking which of the sheep we see ourselves as. One of my sisters quickly responded that she was the lamb being held by Jesus.That was okay. I already knew which one I wanted to be. The black one. The different one. The one  following  Him. Yeah, profound thoughts for a young elementary student. But I was already realizing the cost of following the path less traveled. I already felt the call to  be  different.  Monday begins a new era in my role of motherhood. It is the first time my daughter will spend more of her waking hours with someone else, somewhere else. Hello, 1st grade. It has been a reflective week for me, wondering if I have done and taught her enough to be prepared for life in a public school. Do I have enough faith to obey what God has asked of our fa

Lately I have been reminded by the importance and necessity of resting. I have been loving the current summer season where there is not much of a schedule, no extracurricular activities for our kids, and no major house projects going on. Our kids have even noticed the recent abundance of quality family time and have been soaking it up. A few weeks ago, my sisters and sister-in-law took our mom to an art gallery to paint a canvas for her belated mother's day gift. Even though it was a bit intimidating at first, I believe we all came away from the evening refreshed and relaxed! I must admit, after painting a sunrise beach scene,  I became much more aware of the beautiful sunsets and sunrises that God paints on the canvas of the skies every day. I recognized the colors and the glory of God's handiwork on a whole new level.  When I brought my painting home, my daughter just gushed and gushed how impressed she was with my painting. Of course it felt good, becau

What an honor it is to share our testimony of healing with the readers of Abi Dougherty's  blog  of supernatural stories today! It's true we often do not understand God's ways, but our faith in Him can be so encouraged when we hear of the mighty works He does in others' lives! When this miracle took place, our foster son Jude was 7 months old and we were concerned at his lack of eye control.  During his attempts to focus on objects, his eyes would rapidly twitch back and forth. The pediatrician diagnosed him with a hereditary condition called nystagmus. Although, it's not really treatable, glasses often help the issue. So, we pursued a pediatric eye specialist. The eye doctor agreed with the diagnosis and commented that sports, like baseball, would be very difficult for him due to the amount of eye focusing needed to hit a ball with a bat. He then proceeded to dilate his eyes to make sure they were developing properly. It was at this point in the visit that I

Friday evening our family went out for ice cream to celebrate the end of school and the beginning of summer! After the completion of our yummy desserts, we let our kids play on the adjoining play set. Our daughter joyfully cartwheeled across the lawn until she started screaming in extreme pain. At first we thought she was being dramatic, but as the hours wore on and she still could not walk on it, we began suspecting a broken foot.  Sunday morning my husband graciously accompanied her to the local QuickCare. Even after x-rays, the doctors could not decipher whether or not she had any broken bones and referred us to an orthopedic doctor. In between lots of resting, elevating, and icing her foot, I was trying to wrap my mind around how I was going to juggle this in addition to my already-busy week. Of course, the financial and insurance end of things were also weighing heavily on my mind. The reality of summer vacation just beginning, how swimming was going to work with a cast, and

After a weekend away, we returned home yesterday to find this: Obviously, someone seemed to find humor in smashing our 1 year old mailbox, causing our mail to get saturated from the rain and blow around the neighborhood. I know it's a small act of vandalism, but the experience still left me feeling violated, angry, and wanting justice. In my mind, it feels ridiculous that my hard-working husband has to pay for a new mailbox, while an somewhere out there an immature, bored individual gets away with this "hilarious" action. Living in a fallen world, it's a fact we all face daily. People are going to hurt us with their words and actions. We make mistakes. We live with regrets. We will feel angry and desire justice. This week I will celebrate both Mother's Day and my 10 year wedding anniversary. In both my parenting and my marriage, I make plenty of mistakes. There are many days my impatient and selfish ways win over my patient and giving ways. Sometimes an

Normally I would consider myself a detail-oriented person. I typically have a vivid memory, forgetting very little. In fact, I identify with this statement quite well because I have had too many encounters where I remember people, places, or memories a little to well and I get a look that says, "Who are you and why do you know so much?" But, there is one area where I am extremely lacking in the memory department. I make a terrible tooth fairy! In fact, I believe I was so horribly forgetful for my daughter that she caught onto me by tooth #3! But, my 6 year old son still fully believes that a fairy flies into his room, takes his baby tooth, and leaves him some money.  Now, there is a drastic difference between how my daughter and son lose their teeth. My daughter has a lose tooth for months. I hear about in constantly. I offer to pull the dangling thing out, but receive a quick refusal. So, it's true rejoicing when the thing finally falls out on it's own. My

"You all will fall away," Jesus told them, "for it is written: I will strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered." I have to wonder how those words made Jesus' closest friends, the disciples, feel. Shock...confusion...anger...hurt. Peter responds boldly, "Even if everyone else falls away, I will not. Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." Peter has self-confidence with no boundaries. He's armed and ready with a sword. But little does he know that the prophecies that Jesus spoke of are about to come true. In only a few short hours Peter experiences an intimate Last Supper...praying in the garden, but unable to stay awake...a multitude led by Judas coming to take Jesus away...finds himself striking the ear of the high priest's servant...Jesus healing the servant...and now he's in the courtyard while Jesus is being tried and beaten. Peter has his defenses up. His mind is a blur. His friends are scattered. H

This is a photo I took the other day to document the ridiculous amount of OPEN cereal boxes in my pantry. Somehow, my rule of 5 open boxes stretched to 10! The annoying fact is most of these are 3/4 empty, with only 1-2 more servings remaining. Someone simply got bored with it and moved on to something better. To prove this exact point, I stuck a brand new, unopened box in the middle. When my kids came for breakfast, even without examining the boxes too closely, they all picked the brand new kind to eat! Ugh!!!! Unfortunately, our culture provides too many options and choices for us. Without realizing it, we have become overstimulated and easily distracted in everything we do. I especially remember this after returning from my 5 month mission term years ago. The first time I went to the grocery store, my eyes hurt with all the choices and my head hurt with all the decisions. Motherhood has also been a game-changer; it's a job where multi-tasking is a necessity! Ther

I desire a revival. A spiritual revival that first begins in our personal lives, permeates into our communities, and eventually transforms our nation and our world. "Where and how can this revival happen?" you ask. I recently watched the movie "War Room" and sense that revival can happen when all that prayer power is put into practice. If you haven't seen the movie, I strongly urge you to! I truly believe this can be life-changing. In all honesty, prayer and intercession does not come easy for me. Back when I served in missions in South East Asia, I spent many hours kneeling on the cement floor interceding for the persecuted church and various ministries. I sensed the Holy Spirit's presence among these mighty women of God, who willingly spent 15 hours a week in prayer for their church, community, and the lost of their nation . Many times my human mind wandered, my back ached, or my feet numbed. But when I could finally get past my comforts and my self

Today, in honor of love, marriage, and Valentine's Day I wanted to re-share one of my most-read posts! Even though our marriage is almost 2 years older, this all still rings true! Also, don't forget that my giveaway of two awesome books ends tomorrow!! See Friday's post on how to enter!! ******************************************************************************* Eight years ago, I said, "I Do" to the love of my life. It was difficult for me to comprehend when people said they are more in love with their spouse after many years of marriage than they were on their wedding day. But, it's true. Even though I thought my heart would burst with love for my husband-to-be on the dawn of May 13, 2006, I now think my entire being could burst with love for my husband, just 8 wild, fulfilling, crazy-fast years later. We're not just talking about the heart-stopping, physical, passionate 'eros' love anymore...it has molded into the true, uncondi

It's hard to believe that this month marks 2 years since I began blogging! I pray that it has been as life-giving and impacting for your spiritual life as it has been for me to write what God lays on my heart.  It's a new year and a new season of my life, when I think about the fact that my youngest child will enter pre-school later this year. With those changes, one most certainly reflects on the "what now?" questions. My life has been consumed by the demands of motherhood for the past 8 years (and most certainly will continue!) But, recognizing the potential time for a career or the time to explore an interest definitely is a new and exciting thought. As I've prayed and thought about these changes, I felt God asking me to put more time, effort, and thought into my writing and blog. I feel a deep, burning desire and calling to someday write a book and focused writing will be an instrumental piece of that final goal. I do not go into this naïvely. I know