When Adoption is Hard
Back in 2011, the judge slammed down his gavel and J officially became our son. When we exited the courtroom, I thought the struggles and roller coaster emotions were over. Nobody could ever take our son from us and there was freedom felt in that promise. I was naively determined to give my son a wonderful and fulfilling life, so that he would never doubt his value in our eyes or question his journey of adoption. Our adoption was closed and I fully intended to keep it that way. A few months ago, those buried fears of unanswered questions suddenly found themselves resurfaced. We were driving in the car and I noticed J was unusually quiet and somber. I found myself asking what he was thinking about and nothing could have prepared me for his answer. "I'm thinking about my birth mom and dad. It makes me sad that they don't know me. Can I go see them?" I found myself suddenly battling a million emotions: shock, anger, hurt, confusion, sadness. In a bumbling a