Sacrificial Surrender
Last week I got a call from a wonderful, Christian business...offering me a part-time job. I wasn't in the market for a job at all, so the phone call came as a complete surprise! As a stay-at-home mom there are definitely days I crave adult interaction or the ability to contribute financially to our family. So this opportunity seemed like a dream come true! In my humanness and selfishness, I wanted to accept it immediately, but I knew I had to take some time to discuss my decision with my husband and with God.
I spent some time with God shortly after the call and He led me to Romans 8 and some of the passages started jumping out at me. "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so." (Verses 5-7)
I felt God was showing me the difference between my plan (natural desires) and His plan (Spirit desires).I started mentally arguing with God. "Are you really telling me to say no to this opportunity? The hours are perfect, the job is perfect. Why would you want me to turn this down?" In my sinfulness, I became hostile to God and I did not want to submit to Him. But deep down, I desire His peace more than anything, so I asked Him to continue making His plan clear.
Then my husband came home. I was anxious to hear his opinion. Surely he would jump at the extra income, surely he wouldn't mind a babysitter watching our kids 2 days a week. To my surprise he looked deep into my eyes and said," I know you really want to do this and I will support you if you accept the offer, BUT I honestly don't think this is something you should pursue at this time."
What?! I was crushed. I was angry. I was disappointed. Why would God open this door to me, only to ask me to close it?! Then, I thought of Abraham. God gave him a son after many years of waiting. And then God asked him to sacrifice Isaac. I can only imagine Abraham's confusion; it was through this son that God was going to make his decedents as numerous as the stars in the sky. But God gave Abraham this test to see if he would really surrender his desires, his hopes, his dreams, his son's life...would he obey God at all costs? Abraham proved faithful; his sword was raised and ready to slay his son on the alter. When God saw Abraham's obedience, He provided a ram in the bushes to take the place of Isaac for the sacrifice.
Was God testing me? Was He challenging me to surrender this dream job? Would I prove to be faithful and obedient like Abraham? God led me to another passage in 1 Peter 5: "I appeal to you: Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly-not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God." Not only did God show me I was to sacrifice this job opportunity, He opened my eyes to a necessary attitude adjustment. My only job for this time of my life is to care for my flock, my children, and I am to do it willingly, not grudgingly!
It was a long, difficult journey to come to this decision, but when I decided to entrust my hopes, dreams, and future into God's hands, such peace enveloped me! Today's devotional from "Jesus Calling" just affirmed my decision: "Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from MY children that I desire the most. Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words "I trust You" while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow."
May we all be in tune to the Spirit's leading in our lives and never question or doubt God and His ultimate plan for each of us.
I spent some time with God shortly after the call and He led me to Romans 8 and some of the passages started jumping out at me. "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so." (Verses 5-7)
I felt God was showing me the difference between my plan (natural desires) and His plan (Spirit desires).I started mentally arguing with God. "Are you really telling me to say no to this opportunity? The hours are perfect, the job is perfect. Why would you want me to turn this down?" In my sinfulness, I became hostile to God and I did not want to submit to Him. But deep down, I desire His peace more than anything, so I asked Him to continue making His plan clear.
Then my husband came home. I was anxious to hear his opinion. Surely he would jump at the extra income, surely he wouldn't mind a babysitter watching our kids 2 days a week. To my surprise he looked deep into my eyes and said," I know you really want to do this and I will support you if you accept the offer, BUT I honestly don't think this is something you should pursue at this time."
What?! I was crushed. I was angry. I was disappointed. Why would God open this door to me, only to ask me to close it?! Then, I thought of Abraham. God gave him a son after many years of waiting. And then God asked him to sacrifice Isaac. I can only imagine Abraham's confusion; it was through this son that God was going to make his decedents as numerous as the stars in the sky. But God gave Abraham this test to see if he would really surrender his desires, his hopes, his dreams, his son's life...would he obey God at all costs? Abraham proved faithful; his sword was raised and ready to slay his son on the alter. When God saw Abraham's obedience, He provided a ram in the bushes to take the place of Isaac for the sacrifice.
Was God testing me? Was He challenging me to surrender this dream job? Would I prove to be faithful and obedient like Abraham? God led me to another passage in 1 Peter 5: "I appeal to you: Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly-not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God." Not only did God show me I was to sacrifice this job opportunity, He opened my eyes to a necessary attitude adjustment. My only job for this time of my life is to care for my flock, my children, and I am to do it willingly, not grudgingly!
It was a long, difficult journey to come to this decision, but when I decided to entrust my hopes, dreams, and future into God's hands, such peace enveloped me! Today's devotional from "Jesus Calling" just affirmed my decision: "Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from MY children that I desire the most. Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words "I trust You" while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow."
May we all be in tune to the Spirit's leading in our lives and never question or doubt God and His ultimate plan for each of us.
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