Why I Am Apprehensive About Summer Vacation
Don't get me wrong. I am VERY ready for the lazy days of summer. I am ready for the warm sunshine, swimming, spontaneous play dates at the park, and no school. This is the first summer since I've been done with high school that I feel the vacation aspect of summer. By next week, my oldest daughter will have completed kindergarten. And come fall, she will enter full-day first grade and my son will start his education with 2 days of preschool per week. Prior to this year, summer was just summer. No difference from the rest of the year with my kids at home with me. But this year is different. I feel the pressure to get our activities packed into the 12 weeks of summer. I feel the squeeze of their childhood beginning to slip away into the fast-moving school years.
Deep down I really want to enjoy this summer. And yet, in other ways, I find myself dreading it. This is also the first summer that my oldest two have outgrown their naps. Time to myself is essential for my sanity, so I am trying to plan ahead on how I will protect that sacred time and still keep them peacefully occupied. And then there's the boredom, and the picking, and the bickering that I just know will ensue on Day #1. Even though they are to be the "lazy days" of summer, I feel like that's the last thing they are when I think about the endless amounts of food to freeze and can for the upcoming winter. I'm struggling to see and understand how that fits into our summer fun!
As I was wrestling with mental preparations for summer vacation and I wondering how I can make it a fun and memorable one, but also find it productive and fulfilling, an article published by Abundant Living entitled "Great-Grandma's Way" caught my eye. It started with a lament that I'm sure any mother could identify with: being exhausted, kids disobeying, running to endless activities, and fear of them not reaching their full potential. It goes on to say that parenting doesn't have to be this hard. Back then, raising children wasn't viewed as such a burden as it is in today's culture. The author then shares some tips from Great-Grandma and dares readers to adopt her common-sense way of parenting.
Here are the two that hit me the hardest:
"First things first." In Great-Grandma's view, children's demands were not among those 'first things'. Service to God, marriage, church, and community took precedence over entertaining children. Not that her children weren't important to her, but she didn't allow them to rule the roost. When she began each day, her first thought was not, "What would the children like to do today?" Instead, she invited them to watch her, follow her, help her, and learn from her as her focus was on giving to others. Great-Grandma cared for her childrens' needs, but not as much as with their wants. Play time was a privilege that came only after family, school, and other responsibilities were cared for.
"You can do it. And you WILL do it." Great-Grandma rarely did for her children what they were capable of doing themselves. She willingly allowed them to struggle for awhile so they figured it out by themselves. She assigned tasks and expected her children to complete them. Great-Grandma knew that healthy self-esteem and self-worth develops through service to others, not participation in an excessive amount of extra-curricular activities.
I love getting wisdom for older ladies who have walked the same path 20, 30, even 40 years ago. How much freedom I experienced once I realized the summer was not going to be about pleasing my children. No, they can have a memorable and fulfilling vacation working with me. Once the responsibilities are accomplished, we can enjoy playtime together.
So, thanks to "Great-Grandma's" wisdom, I did some implementing of my own. Our summer is going to have a healthy amount of chores and responsibilities, balanced out with some fun and games.
Deep down I really want to enjoy this summer. And yet, in other ways, I find myself dreading it. This is also the first summer that my oldest two have outgrown their naps. Time to myself is essential for my sanity, so I am trying to plan ahead on how I will protect that sacred time and still keep them peacefully occupied. And then there's the boredom, and the picking, and the bickering that I just know will ensue on Day #1. Even though they are to be the "lazy days" of summer, I feel like that's the last thing they are when I think about the endless amounts of food to freeze and can for the upcoming winter. I'm struggling to see and understand how that fits into our summer fun!
As I was wrestling with mental preparations for summer vacation and I wondering how I can make it a fun and memorable one, but also find it productive and fulfilling, an article published by Abundant Living entitled "Great-Grandma's Way" caught my eye. It started with a lament that I'm sure any mother could identify with: being exhausted, kids disobeying, running to endless activities, and fear of them not reaching their full potential. It goes on to say that parenting doesn't have to be this hard. Back then, raising children wasn't viewed as such a burden as it is in today's culture. The author then shares some tips from Great-Grandma and dares readers to adopt her common-sense way of parenting.
Here are the two that hit me the hardest:
"First things first." In Great-Grandma's view, children's demands were not among those 'first things'. Service to God, marriage, church, and community took precedence over entertaining children. Not that her children weren't important to her, but she didn't allow them to rule the roost. When she began each day, her first thought was not, "What would the children like to do today?" Instead, she invited them to watch her, follow her, help her, and learn from her as her focus was on giving to others. Great-Grandma cared for her childrens' needs, but not as much as with their wants. Play time was a privilege that came only after family, school, and other responsibilities were cared for.
"You can do it. And you WILL do it." Great-Grandma rarely did for her children what they were capable of doing themselves. She willingly allowed them to struggle for awhile so they figured it out by themselves. She assigned tasks and expected her children to complete them. Great-Grandma knew that healthy self-esteem and self-worth develops through service to others, not participation in an excessive amount of extra-curricular activities.
I love getting wisdom for older ladies who have walked the same path 20, 30, even 40 years ago. How much freedom I experienced once I realized the summer was not going to be about pleasing my children. No, they can have a memorable and fulfilling vacation working with me. Once the responsibilities are accomplished, we can enjoy playtime together.
So, thanks to "Great-Grandma's" wisdom, I did some implementing of my own. Our summer is going to have a healthy amount of chores and responsibilities, balanced out with some fun and games.
Notice the smiles? Work has a way of making happy hearts!
Individual chore charts and color-coded daily schedule
(green=things done together, blue=fun, red=for mommy)
May you be inspired to live like Great-Grandma today: love on your kids without tending to every want, teach them to work together and carry their own responsibilities in family-life, and serving others alongside your children.
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
I remember that apprehensive feeling! I had to smile when I read your blog. I remember coming up with index cards when the children were your children's age. Each card had a cute drawing depicting the chore they were to do...ie make their bed, put their clothes away, brush their teeth, feed the dog etc. They each had their own cards that explained what to do with pictures and words. I'm not sure how well I did using them but I had great fun making them.
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