Chutes and Ladders

I know it's been entirely too long since my last blog post! A quick look inside my brain would also attest to this fact that it's been too long since I've sorted my thoughts and they will likely come out a bit jumbled and confused in this post.

Last week I was playing a game of Chutes and Ladders with my youngest.

As many parents can probably agree with me, it is one of the most frustrating games ever invented! My 6 year old was close to tears when he kept landing on slide after slide. I was humored by his struggle, even though I was the one that had the luck of landing on that long ladder up, followed by that long slide down...3 times in one game!

I realized, in the midst of this game, that, quite honestly, my life has felt much like a game of Chutes and Ladders the past 6 weeks. Life full of exciting highs and extreme lows. A game with a variety of emotions, with highs, lows, and mediocre middle. A game that feels like it will never end and feels void of fun.

December was quite full of change and stress, both of which are huge triggers to my anxiety, a battle I walked through several years ago and found myself battling yet again. I had to, once again, teach myself to say no, take time to rest and heal, and get the help of medicine to combat my fears, anxiety and panic attacks. Trusted friends and family carried me through those dark days with much prayer and encouragement and I am so thankful to be feeling myself again. 

And even though those dark days I would never want to repeat, I am grateful for them and what they taught me. The reminder that I need to stand of Christ's solid foundation rather than my foundation of fear. The humbling reminder that I really don't and can't control all of life and what it throws at me. I can only be in control of my response.

At an anxiety support group that I've been attending at my church, we were being challenged to get rid of our "stinky thinky". We need to begin replacing the devil's thoughts of negativity, doubt, and lies with God's truth, and victorious thinking! Even the devotional I had with my kids this morning reminded us to capture every thought and bring it to God. The joy in life is so easily sucked out when we let our minds fill up with anxious and confused thoughts. God wants to let His peace and love untangle them, so we can live in true freedom. 

This reminder of not to live in fear of the unknown is just as much for me as it may be for you today. Just last week we are faced of the reality of my daughter being diagnosed with severe scoliosis with degrees of curvature being 44 and 27. The realization that we face many difficult decisions in the coming months is difficult to accept. But God promises this: (also taken from the Jesus Calling for Kids devotional)

This morning at Moms in Prayer, I had the opportunity to close my eyes and listen to "Good Good Father" and let the promises wash over me: 

I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like
But I've heard the tender whispers of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you're pleased
And that I'm never alone

You're a good good father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

I've seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching
For answers only you provide
'Cause you know just what we need
Before we say a word

You're a good good father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

Because you are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us

I encourage you (as much as myself) that God is big enough to handle our problems. He is faithful enough to be with us every step of the journey. He loves us enough to carry us when we can't walk on our own. And He is trustworthy enough for us to surrender our heavy burdens into His hands. Whatever your lot holds today, may you be able to say "It is well with my soul."