Empty Arms
Sometimes God takes us down a path that is hard to understand. It can be confusing to us because we can't see the big picture or the end result. His ways are mysterious and sometimes difficult to explain.
The last 4 weeks have been emotionally and physically draining for our family. Last month, just days before Christmas, we learned that our adopted son has a baby brother. We were asked if we would be willing to become foster parents again. It was a life-altering decision.
The reality was hard to grasp. We thought we were done with the baby stage. In fact, we had sold almost all our baby items and clothes. It was a struggle to picture bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights again. But God made it very clear. We needed to say, "Yes."
We slowly began to feel excited. Our kids were elated. We reorganized bedrooms and restocked baby supplies. In a matter of 3 days, I completed 9 months worth of nesting. We even took our "announcement picture."
Then, suddenly, our new-found hopes and dreams began falling apart. We learned there were several mistakes made in the handling of the case. More than likely "our" little boy would be placed in another family. I never experienced a miscarriage in any of my pregnancies, and yet it felt like a part of me died when we heard this news. It didn't seem fair after all the physical work we did to prepare for him! It didn't seem fair after all the emotional stress we dealt with in mentally preparing for a baby again.
The struggle is still real. The pain I feel when I look at the unused bibs and diapers stilled stacked in the dresser drawer is real. The sadness I feel when I explain the change to my children is real. The confusion I feel during all the emotional highs and lows is real. The ache of having empty arms is real.
I find myself relating to Abraham. For years, he held on to the promise and hope that God would make him a "father of many nations." And, finally, in God's time, he became father to Isaac. Then, one day, God made it very clear that he was supposed to sacrifice his son! How bizarre and confused Abraham must have felt. But, he kept the faith that God would provide for the sacrifice, even if it came down to sacrificing Isaac. There he was, ready and willing to slay his son until God intervened and provided a ram in the bushes.
I feel a bit like Abraham. Confused at the journey that He has us on. Questions of why this opportunity was even presented to us, fill my head. I don't know all the answers and can't see the big picture. I can only hope that our obedience was as willing and pure as Abraham's was. The journey is worth it if my relationship with God is closer and my faith in Him made stronger.
Perhaps you also find yourself in a confusing stage of life. Things may be happening, or not happening, that make you question God's movement in your life. I urge you to keep the faith, keep trusting Him, and then we can experience His perfect peace no matter what circumstances we face on the journey! May we all have empty arms of surrender for His perfect will.
The last 4 weeks have been emotionally and physically draining for our family. Last month, just days before Christmas, we learned that our adopted son has a baby brother. We were asked if we would be willing to become foster parents again. It was a life-altering decision.
The reality was hard to grasp. We thought we were done with the baby stage. In fact, we had sold almost all our baby items and clothes. It was a struggle to picture bottles, diapers, and sleepless nights again. But God made it very clear. We needed to say, "Yes."
We slowly began to feel excited. Our kids were elated. We reorganized bedrooms and restocked baby supplies. In a matter of 3 days, I completed 9 months worth of nesting. We even took our "announcement picture."
Then, suddenly, our new-found hopes and dreams began falling apart. We learned there were several mistakes made in the handling of the case. More than likely "our" little boy would be placed in another family. I never experienced a miscarriage in any of my pregnancies, and yet it felt like a part of me died when we heard this news. It didn't seem fair after all the physical work we did to prepare for him! It didn't seem fair after all the emotional stress we dealt with in mentally preparing for a baby again.
The struggle is still real. The pain I feel when I look at the unused bibs and diapers stilled stacked in the dresser drawer is real. The sadness I feel when I explain the change to my children is real. The confusion I feel during all the emotional highs and lows is real. The ache of having empty arms is real.
I find myself relating to Abraham. For years, he held on to the promise and hope that God would make him a "father of many nations." And, finally, in God's time, he became father to Isaac. Then, one day, God made it very clear that he was supposed to sacrifice his son! How bizarre and confused Abraham must have felt. But, he kept the faith that God would provide for the sacrifice, even if it came down to sacrificing Isaac. There he was, ready and willing to slay his son until God intervened and provided a ram in the bushes.
I feel a bit like Abraham. Confused at the journey that He has us on. Questions of why this opportunity was even presented to us, fill my head. I don't know all the answers and can't see the big picture. I can only hope that our obedience was as willing and pure as Abraham's was. The journey is worth it if my relationship with God is closer and my faith in Him made stronger.
Perhaps you also find yourself in a confusing stage of life. Things may be happening, or not happening, that make you question God's movement in your life. I urge you to keep the faith, keep trusting Him, and then we can experience His perfect peace no matter what circumstances we face on the journey! May we all have empty arms of surrender for His perfect will.
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