The Climb

My husband and I recently had a date night where we decided to do something completely different from our usual choices. We decided to re-visit something we had done back in youth group together: indoor rock climbing!

I must admit, we almost chickened out. When we arrived at the gym, it was full of youngsters and we really debated about us "oldies" joining in. Plus, I am not a huge fan of heights, so it was stretching for me to even look at the high walls above me and think about climbing to the very top!

But, we did. And I'm so glad we did! It was a great workout, a lot of fun and God opened my eyes to some revelations! If you've never been climbing before, first you put on a harness. Then, you can choose different walls or courses that each have a variety of obstacles or climbing patterns to follow. Each of these stations has a rope that goes all the way to the top of the course.

Each partner hooks their harness to opposite ends of the rope. One person is the anchor while the other one climbs. While we climbed and took turns anchoring, these observations stuck out to me:

1. It's imperative that the anchor pays attention. If the climber begins to fall, it is the anchor's responsibility to cinch the rope to stop them.

2. Communication is key. You don't begin a climb without verbal communication that each other is ready. The climber should not begin their descent until the anchor is made aware and prepared. There were a few times where we mis-communicated. Sheldon assumed I was ready to belay, but my legs weren't fully extended yet. This resulted in my body slamming against the wall and getting brush burns. But, we both learned from our mistakes and had better results when we fixed our communication.

3. We were each doing different tasks, but it was the rope that held us together.

4. It was exhausting and caused sweat and sore muscles, but the fun outweighed it all!

As I reflected on our date, I realized, in awe, how these observations aligned perfectly with the reality of marriage. We need to be alert at what is going on in our spouse's life. We need to be looking out for their best interest. We should have their back at all times. It's our job to hold them accountable, encourage them, and be on guard for their "falls." 

We need to communicate openly about everything. We will mess up, but that is where grace can be extended, love shown and growth happens.

Our marriage will NOT flourish or survive if we are not held together by Christ. 

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 says,

"Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down,    one can help the other up.But pity anyone who falls    and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.    But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered,    two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

God intertwined in our lives is what will hold our marriage together. Satan will try his hardest to fray us apart from God, and then, eventually, apart from each other.

Successful marriages are hard work. We will get dirty and sweaty. There will be days where we feel stiff or tired from the constant surrendering and give-and-take that all relationships have. But, how much more fun life is when you share it with the person you love!

I am currently reading "Women Living Well: Find Your Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home" by Courtney Joseph. She has a wonderful blog and ministry here if you'd like to experience her wisdom for yourself. In her book, Courtney shares how all of our marriages go through different seasons. We have our ups and downs, we have the newlywed season, the tiring newborn season, and busy-kids-activities season, the teenager season, the empty nest season, and the golden years. 

As Valentine's Day approaches, I encourage you to evaluate the season of life your marriage may be in right now. Remember how and why you fell in love with your spouse. Remember your sacred wedding vows. Pray for your him. Vocalize your admiration. Check your priorities. Show love by caring for him and cooking his favorite meals. Follow your husband's lead and vision for your family. Respect him. And kiss him like you mean it!

Strive to make your marriage better than it currently is. And don't do that by telling your spouse what they need to change! Change yourself. Be more like Christ and the rest will follow!

Most of all, enjoy the climb... because marriage is full of all kinds of surprises!