The Black Sheep

*Re-sharing this post I wrote 3 years ago...

This exact picture hung in the hallway of my parents' home when I was a child.

I often found myself staring at it, thinking. One time, I remember my mom asking which of the sheep we see ourselves as. One of my sisters quickly responded that she was the lamb being held by Jesus.That was okay. I already knew which one I wanted to be.

The black one. The different one. The one following Him.

Yeah, profound thoughts for a young elementary student. But I was already realizing the cost of following the path less traveled. I already felt the call to be different. 

Monday begins a new era in my role of motherhood. It is the first time my daughter will spend more of her waking hours with someone else, somewhere else. Hello, 1st grade. It has been a reflective week for me, wondering if I have done and taught her enough to be prepared for life in a public school. Do I have enough faith to obey what God has asked of our family in choosing public school and making it our mission field? 

So many thoughts; too many emotions. Quite honestly, I broke down in tears in the lunchbox aisle just thinking about all the upcoming changes. It's time to slowly begin releasing my children, trusting that the good work that has begun in them will continue on into completion. 

Today I want to share with you, the prayers of my heart and what my parting words will be when the big, yellow bus comes her way, early Monday morning. (Mommies, you may need to get the tissues for this!)

Dear Daughter,

Here we are! On the brink of a new and exciting school year! New teacher, new class, new friends, new schedule...Even in the midst of all these changes I want you to remember these 5 things:

1. Jesus is with you. Even when I am not. Even when your stomach is in knots and you feel homesick. I will be praying for you all day, every day. I trust that you will feel His presence, just like the sheep feel their shepherd's presence. Set your eyes on Jesus and He will help you tackle every test, every project, and every scary thing you are faced with at school.

2. The Bible says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I pray that your heart may grasp and soak up that promise. There may be days that a classmate may tell you otherwise. They may choose to make fun of you for a silly reason. But I want you to remember Daddy and I love you just the way you are. More importantly, you are the daughter of a King who loves you more than we ever could. Rest in that promise even when the world tells you differently.

3. Don't forget our values that we have taught you. Share, love, and be a friend to everyone. Sometimes choosing this lifestyle will be hard and different, but that is how Jesus has asked us to live. Follow His leading. There may be days you feel like the black sheep: obviously different and out of place. Stand strong. Jesus even prayed this over us in John 17:15, "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world, but that you protect them from the evil one." Be brave and don't follow the crowd. 

4. School is full of competitions to be the smartest, the fastest, the best-dressed, and the coolest. But we want to remind you that none of that matters to us. We don't send you to school to be the best at anything. We already love you as much as we possibly can. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you never can lose it. Same with Jesus. You don't have to earn His love or impress Him. Just be who He made you to be and show His love to the others around you; and that will make Him very happy!

5. God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. You are our gift and it's time for us to share you with others at school. We treasure you and it hurts us to let you go, but we know that God has blessed you with many gifts that He will use to advance His kingdom. Each of your classmates? They are God's gift to you this year. Treat them as a gift, show compassion when they're hurting. You have Jesus in your heart, so don't be surprised when He speaks to you because He trusts you and needs you to show His love to those who don't know Jesus yet. 

With all our love,

Mommy and Daddy